Did you hear that?

Its a sigh of relief. It's Friday. I have made it thru the week. Praise (deity).

Last night, I told Brian when I heard the slightest sound of thunder, "You know, we haven't had a storm all summer that was worthy." Its kinda like in Forrest Gump when Lt. Dan says, "Where's that God you've been praying to?" And hurricane Camille began. Not even 2 minutes later, every room in our house was filled with bright flashes of natural light. It was awesome.

I've been fascinated with storms since I was a child. I would watch the weather radar (remember the old one that was just the overview of the tri-state area?) praying for a storm every time the sky grew grey. I guess I needed something in my life that was unknown and scary - I was not allowed to watch horror movies. Real life was good enough for me. I have a small collection of pictures I took as a child of lightning. Its so cool to look at them now and see what I saw with my same eye 20 years ago. I've seen some fucked up weather in my time...deliberately, most of the time. I'm well traveled for my age, Ive been nearly all over the country. That's more than most folks can say at 60 and I'm half their age.

The best storms I've ever seen were while I lived on the coast. I've been thru a tropical storm - we stayed in the house on the island and got drunk as hell as it commenced. That's some wild lightning, man. The thunder was so loud at times, it filled our ears with nothing but - unable to hear the radio, but it really didn't matter because the power would be out soon enough. That was one of the most fun drunk times I can recall. The 4 of us staggering around, lighting candles, accidentally knocking them over, cracking up...we had candle wax all over the damn place. It looked like satanists had performed a ritual the next morning - both inside and outside. The storm didn't destroy any houses, obviously, as they are built to withstand up to a category 3 hurricane. The trees were not as lucky and yes indeed, we lost some shingles.

I've seen tornadoes both form and die...some so young they only spiral down for a moment, then return the the belly of the storm. The first time I saw a waterspout was when Debbie, Chuck, Ashley and I went to Daytona Beach the week of July 4 the summer I graduated high school. Our hotel was oceanfront. My sister and I went out to look while Chuck stayed with Ashley inside. The clouds were very evil looking. The storm was fast - the fastest Ive probably ever seen. Within minutes of walking outside, we were bombarded with hail. The next thing I knew we were running toward the door - while poolside chairs went flying by us. We got to the door where Chuck and Ashley stood - jaws dropped - we turned and there it was - beautiful; ice skating across the ocean as if it were a lake. We watched until it withdrew itself back into the belly of the beast. I did not have a camera. Even if i did - I would have been too shocked to realize I should take a picture. We watched the remainder of the storm from the hotel balcony.

There are very few times in my life I have wished it NOT to storm. During a canoe trip with a bunch of friends, I realized what lightning truly was. We were out on the Little Miami River in metal canoes, we were too cheap to up grade to the fiberglass ones for $10 more. As the storm rolled it, I realized that $10 really shouldn't have meant that much to me since we were on the 12 mile trip out in the middle of nowhere but farm land and trees. (Can we say, Deliverance?)
As it began to rain, we saw a group along the side of the river already pulled over so we decided to stop too. Better to be in larger groups during something like this. As we drug our 3 metal coffins to the shore, we realized these people had taken their metal canoe and turned it upside down between two trees and were standing under it. Not only were they that stupid, yes, but they were also loaded. You ever seen one of those bags that bicyclists use to drink water while on long rides? It hangs over their back and has a long tube-like straw attached for easy access. These assholes had theirs filled with some sort of Hooch - not sure, but they were drunker than sailors on a 3-day pass. Of course Ronnie couldn't take it and had to go over to them to share in the wealth they had. They accepted him quickly and it was no time before he was chugging down their hooch.

We had kind of calmed down a little - we were off the water and away from the metal canoes. Rachel and I stood under a big pine tree huddled together while the others joined Ronnie. The worst part blew through and we though it was going to clear up fast. As soon as I let my guard down, across the river, the ground was struck with a ball of green/pink light. It cracked so loud I thought my eardrums were going to burst. I reached to cover my ears and towards Rachel for protection. At that moment, I felt it - so did she. It started in my feet and worked its way up to my head...this sensation that was crazy. I had never felt anything like it and was scared to death. You ever touched a live electrical wire by accident? You get that quick jolt - enough for you to yank your hand from it quickly. Imagine that jolt localizing itself into your body at your feet, and like a virus, spreading to the rest of your body in slow motion, allowing you to feel it move thru every inch. I realized very quickly that my fingers were numb. So were my ears. My hands felt like they had "fallen asleep". I couldn't even scream. Rachel and I were staring at each other, jaws dropped, half our body numb. That's when we realized what had just happened. The electricity from that lightning bolt had traveled the ground - over the water - to the wet bank we stood on. Here we were trying to be smart and stay away from the fucking metal canoe and we were the ones who got hit! I would have rather been one of the drunk stupid ones. Rachel and I were terrified to get back on the water, but did...and we beat just about everyone back to the drop off point. My ear lobes were numb for 3 days.

The sun is out now. I plan to celebrate tonight - a 30 lb weight loss as of today! I haven't written about my trying to lose weight because I was afraid I'd announce I was trying then embarrass myself that I failed. How much weight have you lost? Then Id have to say, Um Yeah....but I have done it. I figured when I lost 30 lbs - Ill know Im in it for the long haul an and I am. I am sooooo tired of being fat - I've spend most of my life "chunky" or "chubby" then straight down to plain old fat ass. I have enough sizes stored to start an online Lane Bryant. I am fitting into clothes I haven't worn in like 3 years. I feel so much better. I sleep better, I wake up easier, my appetite is now normal. I used to be able to split a large pizza with Brian (whose metabolism is much faster than mine) AND snack on whatever side item he wanted, be it bread sticks or chicken somethings. Now, 2 slices does me just fine. I have totally changed the way I look at food. I no longer see it as a crutch, something to use for comfort. Before, I'd wake up in the morning for work, drive thru McD's and be on my way. I was eating lunch out an average of 3 times a week. Brian and I ate out of fast food drive thrus or carry out for dinner for some time.

I was in a bad rut. I love to cook - but I swear I wanted the other type of food so much more - and as along as Brian agreed it was my intention to have it. Cheesesteaks and Coke are my downfall. And Indian Food. I LOVE Indian food. I haven't eaten it in 4 months and I used to get it every Friday at work (Akash downtown). I know Indians are thin - but the shit they use in their food - I don't see how. They use heavy cream, oil, and butter - no wonder it tastes so damn good and stains my clothes. Now you can see how I got the way I did.

I decided on Mother's Day (of all days) to go to the gym and sign up. I figured it wouldn't be crowded and a good time to feel it out - see if Id be comfortable there. I always heard Gold's and thought it would be a bunch of bulky steroid driven men screaming while lifting Volkswagens. Not true. I loved it the moment I walked in. I could tell I would be motivated by the pool as soon as I saw it. Swimming is my new Zen. When I started, it would take me an hour to complete about 40 laps. Now I can swim 90 in that time. 45 breaststroke and 45 back stroke. I also throw water lunges in there and if I feel like I need to up my heart rate a little, Ill water jog a lap. I usually swim once a week now, and then the other two days I use the elliptical trainer and lift. When I started on the trainers, I could only do about 20 minutes. I am up to 45 now using the interval-training level.

It relieves so much stress. After a long day in hell, I can go unwind my ever working mind and relax. I know "relax" sounds weird, but after the workout is done, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I am stronger now. I can lift things easier - my back doesn't hurt as often (knocks on wood). I can get up from the floor easier. Isn't that sad? Struggling to get up from the floor??? That's what made my decision. I would not turn 30 this way. I should be in the prime of my life right now and I knew I wasn't anywhere near it. So - 30 lbs later, here I am. Thank you to all that listen to me - you are truly my support and motivation to keep it up. I have about 60 more lbs to go - then I'll be where I want to be. Wish me luck!!

Have a terrific weekend! I know I will - I do not have to be back to hell until Tuesday!!!

I rule.