Christmas Vacation & bonding with cat litter

The bell officially rang on Friday Dec 20th at about 5 pm. The chains fell off my ankles and wrists and I was released from work for 12 days.

I drank and partied away the weekend.

Christmas Eve Brian and I did the traditional dinner at his parent's house. Brian's parents have alienate themselves from everyone - including their own family members. Brian and I are the ones they acknowledge so they cling to us. We showed up - I got a baby comment within 5 minutes which I blew off appropriately by saying," Its in God's hands. You know my uterus will not cooperate." (That little blue pill I take each night before bed could also be the reason, but hey, what she doesn't know wont hurt her). All Brian said was CHRIST. Then we went in to look at the ham.

I am not a fan of ham. Not one little fucking bit. I don't hate all pork products, I will eat pepperoni, bologna/hot dogs, and well done bacon...but as for a cooked ham, pork chops, pork loin, YUK - no thanks. NOT a fan. Neither Brian or I will eat it. So, as we stared at what side dishes we'd feast on, my dad showed up to save the day. I was so happy he showed. He breaks the tension and keeps conversation going. My dad talks non stop and always has a story to tell. It makes dinner with his parents so much easier. I think my dad goes to protect me, he knows how Pam does me, and I swear he aggravates her the entire time he is there. It makes me and Brian snicker and giggle...it's hysterical. When he saw the ham, he said, "MMMM MMM - HAM! So, how long did you smoke this after you carved the hide? (insinuating that she made the kill herself). She just smacked him with a dish cloth.

We sat down to dinner and of course, we have to pray. Luckily she didn't make us hold hands this time. Pam began to pray and in closing stated"....and bless us 5 here and maybe the possibility of an addition to the table next year. Amen." I stated loudly, "Brian! SHe wants us to get another cat!!!" Everybody laughed but her. She just looked at me. I just smiled.

After we got home and settled in we decided to get everything ready for Christmas day. Brian and I spend the day together lounging, drinking, watching movies, playing games, sleeping and eating. A day of total gluttony and laziness. So, we were cleaning up to make the next day totally free. We picked up around the house, vacuumed and such, took care of the dirty dishes and laundry. Then we made our way upstairs to get ready for bed. I went into the spare room with the coffee mug full of water and Katie's water bowl. I was gong to fill the coffee pot and give Katie her water. I have no idea how it happened, but I fell - flat on my face, hard as a rock. I had no time to brace myself. I landed partially on the treadmill and also flipped the cat's litter box (the big new one) up in the air and all over me. Katie's water bowl must have flipped in the air while I was falling because it did a great job of evenly spreading water around the room. Brian bolted upstairs to find me laying on the floor, partially on the treadmill, water and cat litter all over the room and me.

I couldn't move for a minute because my back locked up on me. I was finally able to get up and looked around the room. My god - It was like a sand storm blew thru. I was covered in dirty cat litter and water. It was in my bra, in my hair, in my ass. I have no fucking clue how. So, I strip the wet shit off and laid on the bed to give my back a break. I hear Brian in the room cussing and cleaning, cleaning and cussing. I was in so much pain I was about in tears. I screamed that all I was trying to do was get fucking coffee ready for Christmas and take care of Katie's water. Brian continued to clean and I was finally able to get up and move around to see how much damage I did to myself. My back hurt - but I didn't think I had injured it. I went in and tried to help Brian mop up the mess. He went into the bathroom to rinse the mop. I heard a noise and looked. The mop went flying thru the hall and down the steps like an arrow. I was instantly pissed because I thought Brian was throwing a fit about cleaning. When i walked in the bathroom, I looked down and Brian was on the floor. He had slipped trying to step out of the bathtub. I said, 'Did you fall?" He looked at me and said, Uh YEAH! I pointed at him and laughed til I almost fell over. He said, that's real nice, not funny when you fall, but when i do.....

its hysterical! We cleaned the mess up together and went to bed, laughing. It was after all, fucking funny as hell.

Christmas day was quiet, nice and uneventful. I won't lie, I don't remember much. Brian and I slept as late as we wanted and got up with our sore bodies and started with some coffee. We watched Christmas Vacation and A Christmas Story back to back then I started the turkey. We had already broken into the wine, so after we ate, we slept. We woke up about 7pm, drank more wine, ate bread and turned on South park Season 10 until we went back to sleep. It was so relaxing.

I'll be on vacation until Wednesday, so I've been working on getting my office together and sorting thru any clutter I find int eh house. My new office is quality. I've been taking advantage of the time Ive had to get my office ready and spending my company's money. That, my friend, is beautiful. So far, I have purchased a white washed computer armour....computer chair...printer.....and phone. I am waiting for my desk to arrive before I can totally put my room in order, but I can wait. Time is on my side for a change.