Killing 2 birds with 1 stone (LOVE the acronyms)

As you all may or may not know, my mother in law (MIL) is a grand baby nagger. Therefore I do not go to any child related event with her. I've done it once, and that's all it took for me to learn that would be the only one. You also may already know that our friend Ronnie's "girlfriend" or as I like to call her, the wicked witch of the east end (WWEE) is a bitch. Well, the two went together today in an idea I will go to hell for. Hey - I'm not scared. I do what I want, remember? :)

So, apparently, Ronnie and WWEE went to see my MIL with their toddler who will be turning 2 in a few days. They were hand delivering invites to the baby's party - 3 days prior to the event. To top it off, they give me an invite for Tito - whom I see as often as them (Which is about the same number of times I see the dentist each year -2). Yeah.

WWEE hates my BFF Sarah. HATES her. She thinks that because Sarah used to be one of our roommates, that she wants to rip Ronnie's clothes off and screw him the second he walks into the house. 1) Ronnie is not that hot. I mean, come on. Plus we know him. KNOW him. To know someone is to love them. 2) If there was ever a chance that they would of gotten together, it would have happened years ago. 3) To be honest, Ronnie and Sarah don't talk anymore because, well, after he got with WWEE, she removed him from contact with everyone.

So Sarah happened to be there. She usually is a few times a week, even Ronnie knows that. As soon as WWEE sees Sarah - its the "die bitch die" stare until they leave. The minute I went out with Sarah to smoke, WWEE unloads. "What the fuck is THAT bitch doing here?" "Staring at my man all the time, I'll beat her ass" Yes, she is ghetto - and from the East End. I'm lucky she doesn't call Ronnie her "old man". Brian told me that when I went outside, WWEE complained how the baby was responding to Sarah and it made her jealous as hell. Sarah has, after all, worked at a daycare for 9 years. She is good with kids. So it was funny that Sarah was able to get her worked up by doing nothing at all but being nice and playing with her kid.

WWEE begins to fill me in on all the details of what my MIL planned to do for Marisah's b-day. She apparently told WWEE that since she didn't have a grandchild and probably never will....and it goes on and on. So, WWEE and MIL had a bitch session about me. Then WWEE has the nerve to come to my house and threaten my friend?

I've thought about it and like I said, today I had an epiphany.

I should go with my baby crazed, insane MIL to the Party in the East End. Once there, I could let the party get started and let a few of the MIL's comments slide off my back - like I'm going to let her get away with it - even if just for that one day. Then, when it's a little quieter, say, while Marisah opens her gifts......I wait for one more comment from Pam (and believe me, once she gets started she doesn't stop) I stand up and announce:

"That's it! I've fucking HAD IT! I told you I cannot have kids and you smear it all over my face? I already feel like less of a woman since I cannot conceive. Fuck giving you a grandchild, you crazy bitch! In fact - Fuck Kids in general! Ill NEVER EVER have one!"

And as I leave a stunned crowd, jaws dropped, I point to WWEE and say to Ronnie:

"Good luck with that one. She's a real winner."

The party is tomorrow. I haven't quite decided my plan. I have some thinking to do....

Yours in Christ (or whatever entity you are worshipping today),
Tracy