Last night Brian and I partook in an evening of gallivanting with all the blue tools, corporate douchebags, and Super Cunts within the company. I hate to be an ungrateful asshole, but I have a few suggestions for the powers that be:
1) The Newport Aquarium is NOT made for large company parties.
(Side note to Newport Aquarium: If you plan to host a huge company gathering, learn how to control the building's temperature. Picture small tunnels with tons of body heat. Don't give me the "fish can't tolerate it". They can tolerate it when the a/c is on for half the year.)
2) I understand the legalities of an open bar - but DAMN. $6 for a small mixed drink?? At least find a cheap vendor or allow those drinking to sign a goddammed waiver that we understand we are responsible for ourselves. Aren't we fucking anyway? Lawyers have ruined fun for everyone.
3) Food. This should be the most important aspect of a party. Screw a band. Play back ground music. People go to company events in hopes of a nice gourmet meal (what the fuck are they doing with the bonus money?) - If nothing else. The food was shit. SHIT. The Aquarium is extremely confined and there were lines everywhere. It was hard to tell which lines were for what. By the time we made it to the buffet line it was slim pickins. What they had could be compared to a shitty Ponderosa. Beggars can’t be choosers, I know. But Christ, as big as the company is and as much fun as they have blowing unnecessary wads of cash on bullshit, you'd think they'd have a nice sit down dinner. Typical.
We did not stick around long. Just long enough to see the important poeple, and then we were out. We stopped at the pub on the way home, had a few beers and went home to bed. What a waste of a potentially good time. I know how much the facility was to rent. After food and parking, I'd say they easily spent well over a hundred and fifty grand.
My recommendation?
Split that money between the employees and give us a nice x-mas bonus like most places do. OR if a party in inevitable, rent the three biggest ballrooms at the Westin, get a DJ, open bar, excellent food and discounted rooms for company employees. That way, there are plenty of wide open spaces, different music in each room, and good fun without having to worry about driving home. It would be cheaper and I think most people would enjoy something like that instead. The only thing that made the entire ordeal worth it was the people. I was so glad to see Margo out of work for a change. It was a pleasure meeting Julie, Jason's wife. I saw Theresa and Dale. Had none of those people planned to go, I would not have been there. I got some good pics of Gwen, Lawren and several others as well.
On a lighter note, my work from home request was signed, sealed and approved. My laptop has been ordered. Dell is shipping me a 19 in flat screen monitor, keyboard and mouse. I'm so going shopping. I have a $1650 stipend. Maybe if I can get deals now due to the holidays I can get more bang for my buck. We'll see.
Anywhoo - It’s getting late. I'm headed to bed
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2 comments:
I agree with everything you said regarding the party. I missed seeing Theresa though...you can't find anyone in that damn place! You still SUCK for getting your approval and I will be stuck here. (apparently the only one after talking to everyone at the party) Can I PLEASE be your assistant?
"rent the three biggest ballrooms at the Westin, get a DJ, open bar, excellent food and discounted rooms for company employees. That way, there are plenty of wide open spaces, different music in each room, and good fun without having to worry about driving home."
As much as I hated the corporate crap, this is exactly how they did their Christmas party at HSBC, except at The Griffin Gate in Lexington. They did throw a kick ass party, with free open bar. Now, alas I'm with a company that doesn't even have a christmas party. Good to great, huh?
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